Aloneness
It is a known fact that humans are social creatures. We need to surround ourselves with other people to achieve happiness. Therefore being alone goes against how humans function. This experience of "aloneness" is more prominent in big urban spaces, like New York City. We can’t always surround ourselves with people 24/7, so the problem with having a high expectations of being together in urban spaces result in experiencing alone time more often. This arises the problem of "urban loneliness". When people do not cope well with "aloneness", the emotions of loneliness appear and can turn into "social isolation". When it is dealt with effectively, this emotion can turn into solitude.
My experience with aloneness
Image 1. Solitude "cover"
At a certain point, I was similar to those around me. My alone time has less to do with reflecting and meditating, and more so with resting my body. I created this cover (Image 1) with that in mind. It acts as a portable personal space, that can be converted into a bag (Image 2) when one needs a minute in a busy and crowded city to be alone with their mind. They can just pop the cover on, wear your earphones, and (voilà!) you have your own personal space to be alone with your mind without any visual and noise distractions.
When choosing solitude, one needs time and space to be alone. In a city like New York, I found it hard to have meaningful time with myself. New York is such a crowded, busy and fast-paced environment, you sometimes can't help but get sucked into that energy. This experience may be different depending on the person, but from my experience, I see people hustling and only resting when their body is fatigued. I personally would choose solitude to deal with my aloneness and encourage people to go out of their way to do so. In my experience, I gained many benefits from this.
Image 2. Solitude "bag"
Which one are you? How do you deal with aloneness?
Isolation—the removing of oneself from any social interaction. It is caused by the person feeling uprooted and deserted from others. At first glance, it can seem like they chose to be in isolation, but they would not choose so if the circumstances were different. In certain situations, they feel that other people forced them into isolation. Social isolation can be a way of protection as it gives instant comfort. However, it could hurt them in the long run as they can start to lose their sense of identity. This becomes unhealthy when they get used to the pain and comfort of isolation.
Solitude—the state of being alone by choice with a purpose. This state does not equate to loneliness as it is a choice comfortably chosen for those who have a meaningful relationship with others. They are willing to reintegrate back into society after a period of time. During solitude, a person channels their focus within themselves, helping them to have a better understanding of themselves. It can be used to reflect, clear their mind, or meditate. This ideal aloneness can help strengthen one's relationships with others.
Filmed by Seung Won Baik
Modelled by Hayley Williams
Photographed by Chabely Rodriguez, Seung Won Baik